After a much needed 6 month period of self-care, therapy, and grueling mental challenges, I am beyond excited to announce my little corner of the internet, Essentially Lily, is relaunching on January 1st 2018!
So, what have I been up to?
Well, late April, I took the plunge and quit my job as an HR Assistant, choosing my happiness over pleasing others in a non-rewarding environment. Don’t get me wrong, I loved what I actually did in my job, but support (especially with my anxiety), staff appreciation, and any kind of incentive (we didn’t even have Christmas decorations!!) was pretty much non-existent. But more on this in another post…
A week later, I went on holiday to see my mum in Spain for her birthday, and that was the week I took a vacation from it all. I didn’t tweet, I didn’t check emails, I didn’t write blog posts, I didn’t write a thing. And it was bliss. I felt liberated, and able to enjoy my holiday instead of constantly thinking what snaps would be good for the ‘gram, or what outfits would look super cute on my blog.
When I came home, I secured myself another job in 4 days at another recruitment agency, working as an IT Recruiter, and I couldn’t wait to start. A new company with excellent prospects, quarterly incentives, and I’m still here loving every day.
Old habits die hard…
But despite all the excitement and fun, there was still one major part of my life I couldn’t change. My anxiety. I started a course of CBT earlier this year with a therapist which helped me massively with my phobia, but due to the recent stresses of my previous job, I just couldn’t stop the old safety behaviours from creeping back in.
Yes, I was happy, fun, and super focused on my new job on the outside, but my mind was constantly running at 100mph with worry on the inside, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was afraid to go “out out” again, I would struggle to be in a crowded Tesco, and I ended up relying on pills to help me sleep.
I then embarked on a course for Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), and it taught me how to let go, how to order my thoughts, and just relax. It wasn’t easy though, combined with the mental exercises from my CBT, I faced my toughest mental challenge ever, and it left me feeling exhausted every day.
Looking to the future!
Fast forward 3 months, and I’ve recently come back from a long weekend in Milan for my birthday, I’ve been to London on the train on my own (!!), and I feel confident in my own skin again, and ready to get back to my beloved little blog.
But this time I’m doing things differently. I’m not going to write content because I feel compelled to “compete” with what others are doing, no. This is my little part of the internet, and I want it to be true to me, my views, and my experiences.
So please bear with me, and I’ll be back with you all in on the 1st January 2018.
See you all very soon!!!